Playing Catch Up on Dreams

This morning's dream involved me standing next to a bridge talking to Donald Trump. I was telling him that one day soon when I'm as wealthy as him, I'll workout in his gym. For some reason I felt like I had known him for years. Weird. Guess it's cool though that my dreams involve conversations with wealthy people. About two days ago, I had another dream that involved Cher and I driving in a car on the wrong side of the expressway. We were driving against traffic but there we no cars ahead of us. There were also tons of boulders and rocks on the road. At one point we stopped and got out and started walking. Mini rocks were falling from the sky but none were actually hitting us. Finally, the last dream I remember was on Christmas Eve. I was getting on a bus to go someplace but I didn't have any change on me. I remember asking someone on the bus if I could use their card in exchange for me giving them two paper dollars. The bus driver started yelling at me and I told him he was rude and he said he didn't care and to get off of the bus. I remember asking him for his badge number and it was 13739. That's all I can recall. Weird dreams. Even weirder that I remember them. Haven't talked to Cher in a while. I'll give her a call today. I feel like laying in my bed all day. Still feel a little sick but maybe after I eat breakfast i'll feel better. I definitely have to work on my resume today. I like my old one but I should prepare a new one for the new year. I better get on that.

The Cuties and the Crazies

Of course I can't sleep again. Actually I feel a little nauseous right now. Thursday turned out to be a full day and I felt very strong. It started off rocky but once I met up with Jean for lunch it picked up in a very good way. I didn't realize how much I missed our lunches at Mizu. I'm really proud of him for becoming stronger and standing up for himself and what he believes in...especially in the workplace. Like I have always told him and others...pick and choose your battles and if you believe in something...fight for it until the end no matter what. After lunch I was also able to see other friends including Delsia and Sandra. I feel very fortunate that everyplace I have worked, I meet people who I know will be lifelong friends. At Time Warner, I found three. How blessed am I? Very. I also got a call from Keesha wanting to meet up over the weekend. She just wrapped up her first semester of law school. I'm so proud of her! She will continue to do well...I know it. It's definitely been a full, good week of spending time with very special people in my life. I feel honored.

Thursday also brought out the cuties and crazies...especially on the train. All these people, strangers included, wanted to talk to me today. Some guy in a fancy car (the drive by pickup is never a turnon for me), the guard in the building, and some on my trainride into and back home from the city. A scitzofrenic (sp.) guy on the platform in his moments of clarity at Columbus Circle kept telling me how beautiful I was and that I'm a decent, good person for talking to him. He said I made him feel like a human being. Literally 15 minutes later after my train change, some angry black man started yelling in my direction when I literally got on the train and sat down across from him (his mantra was that beautiful light skinned women won't give him the time of day because he's a dark skinned man). I kept thinking maybe he has a problem with women because he's crazy. Who knows. My presence triggered some type of outburst with him. I'm glad he got off two stops later. I must be a true New Yorker because I totally continued to listen to music and ignore his outburst even though I sensed he was looking at me. Only in New York right? When I got home though I did feel a little sick from earlier but I'm sure i'll feel better later today. I don't feel sleepy but i'm going to give it another shot. More later. Had a crazy dream the night before.

Siblings and Entitlement

I had a feeling it wouldn't be long before my sister called with her drama. I felt it. Sometimes I wonder who's the older sibling...her or me. She's eight years older than me yet I feel at times more mature than she. It really is interesting to hear her perspective on our parents compared to mine. Lots of similarities..lots of differences. She did have an eight year head start right? The latest drama involves the house. She feels yet again entitled to money from both of them. The funny thing is she has lived what I would call the "cushy" life that she would not have been able to do anywhere else. Let's face it, my immediate family likes drama...including me. However, I like good drama...not bad. I caught myself telling my sister to just move if she is so unhappy there. I suspect that she has financially messed herself up so much that she will never be able to dig herself out. Her attitude doesn't help either. She's so fixated on being financially compensated by both of them. She feels entitled because she's "sacrificed".

It's the New Year yet the same issues with her and my parents keep coming up. I listen to her because she is my family...my sister. I feel like yelling at her to grow up but I can't because I know who she is and how she thinks. She forgets why I moved in the first place. I knew it would be up to me to break the pattern of craziness. When I moved I literally had ten dollars left in my pocket and bank account. This is the smallest space I have ever lived in my life but you know what...I am at peace when I close the door behind me. I'm not sure why Debbie remains stuck...enabled...entitled. I don't think she wants to be free. She has a very good job, earns a very good salary, and does basically whatever she wants. What's the problem. I told my parents, divorced or not, if anything happens to either one of them and they weren't clear in legal documents what they want done...I am not going to court to fight over anything. I've sacrificed enough. Even let good things leave my life so that I could be helpful to them. I am not going back down that path again. I hope Debbie finds a new road to travel.

In the meantime, yesterday was a really good day. For the second time I had a guest. On Friday another friend will visit as well. Usually nobody wants to come to Brooklyn...like I live in a foreign land or something. I like it when people come to visit me...especially when they bring good energy with them. I am slightly stressed about this appointment today. I certainly am not looking forward to this repeat test the doctor has to perform. The first one was somewhat painful. And then all the waiting again. I don't have a choice. Medical tests are always scary. The good side of the day is that I will get to see some friends I haven't seen in a while. That will definitely take my mind off of the craziness of the day. I better get going.

Ringing in the New Year with a Bunch of Clowns

1:47am...What a fantastic way to ring in the New Year! I knew I would have fun at the circus. Now all I need to do in predict and play the lotto! Ha ha. I thought for sure I would be going it alone (which was cool with me) but then Alison called asking if I had any plans. She said she didn't want to say at home so she decided to join me. Lucky for her i'm in the habit of buying tickets by the pair! The show was pretty funny and the people sitting around us interesting to boot. I'm sleepy right now so I'm going to have to finish this post when I wake up. Cold medicine and a glass of alcohol definitely don't mix but hey...I bet I won't have any trouble sleeping tonight/this morning. I have a feeling good things are on the horizon for me (but then again...when hasn't there ever been good things in my life).

8:32pm...So today I did absolutely nothing! My cousin Sharon likes to refer to these types of days as "lie about" days. Still trying to shake this cold brought on by air conditioning. Even though it was quiet, I did get a chance to catch up a bit with a few phone calls and email. Ev and Rae get married this year! How exciting. Rae asked me to be a bridesmaid. How cool...this will be the first time I will be in a wedding party. Very cool. I know they are going to have a fantastic life together. It's hard to believe that given how sarcastic we both can be..Ev and I turned out to be the best of friends. I can't believe I've known him for over ten years. We both have grown tremendously. Bravo. How is it possible to be tired from doing absolutely nothing??? Oh well. It did feel good to sleep in my own bed again after two weeks away. While my room at my mother's house is cool, it's different than the space I've been able to establish on my own. Although being there the last three days helped me out so much considering I wasn't feeling well. She did make some really good chicken soup the other night. Anyway, I better attempt to get myself organized for this week. Lots to do like revamping my resume and labeling all these pictures to name a few. I'm going to start The Artist's Way again. I think my artist's date will be a few museums. Didn't really get a chance the past few months to check out some exhibits. I didn't hear from Alison today...better give her a call to see if her mom will be able to leave the hospital soon. I hope so.

Here's to 2007

In a mere few hours the close of yet another year and the start of a new one will be upon us. It really does hold true that time really does fly when you are having fun. It's been one hell of a year for me as for many people I know. Some days were definitely better than others but if I had to repeat the process I'd do it all again in the exact same manner. I'm headed out in a few minutes to do something I normally don't do...go out on New Year's Eve. I am looking forward to tonight and the festivities of the Circus.

While I don't make "resolutions" every year, I do try to set attainable goals for myself. This upcoming year won't be any different. I am going to graduate in May (when I make it through thesis). I will also be hitting the gym hard and I have a feeling all of my efforts will pay off. I will also travel even more in 2007 and experience even more. And of course, 2007 will also be the year of my new job that I love. I know all of my efforts will be rewarded with working on projects with people that I actually like being around on a daily basis.

The start of the new year also means putting closure on all the wrongs of 06. Two friendships were lost...a few new ones were made. While I will briefly mourn the the friendships that just simply weren't meant to be, I will also celebrate the fact that I continue to meet new ones along the way. I better get going if I'm going to make the show tonight. I know I'm going to have fun. Happy New Year! Here's to a fantastic 2007 for me and for everyone I know!