Time

A recent email exchange really got me thinking even more about the concept of time and what we choose to do with it while here on Earth. From the optimist point of view, we have nothing but time. From the pessimist perspective, with each day we are losing time and moving closer to death. Which is correct? In a way I believe in both concepts. We plan and plan and plan...all in the light that there is an infinite amount of time made available to us. However, with each heartbeat, each moment, each day, we could suddenly just run out of time. We could get hit by a car crossing the street, or fall to our deaths in a freak shower accident. We really don't know what amount of time we have so I guess we have to make the most of what we hope to have in this lifetime. We all place different emphasis on what we want to do with our minutes and days. It use to drive me crazy when people say, "I don't have time". I am still a big believer that we make time for what is really important to us. I no longer get offended when friends repeat the cycle of only seeing things from their timeline perspective. With that, they run the risk of finding out that some others are also working a timeline and may not necessarily be sitting around waiting. It's a delicate balance that can be hard to manage if one isn't willing to work on it. I hope I have a lot of quality time left on this big rock...but just in case I don't I want to continue to make sure to make time for what's important in my life...even if it means letting go of those who don't want to make time to understand me. Suze Orman's catch line really does sum it up for me...People first, then money, then things.

Garbage and Grapes in the Highway of Life

Wow! What a great night's sleep. I actually got a full eight hours this time! While my shoulders are still stiff from workout, I do feel really rested. I remember only part of the dream I had this morning. I was walking on some highway in the direction that goes against traffic. There were no cars moving on the side of the road where I was. In the opposite direction it looked like there was a traffic jam. As I was walking, this guy on the shoulder was attempting to get on the highway. I kept telling him he's headed the wrong way but he got on anyway (even though the logical direction was correct, it was incorrect). Technically he was driving in the right direction but I kept telling him it was wrong. Afterwards, as I kept walking, I started having to climb over mounds of garbage. There was a fence to my left cutting me off from the highway. As I was contemplating climbing the fence to get out of the piles of trash, I saw lots of activity up ahead. When I got to the area, it appeared to be some type of wholesale lot that sold grapes. Tons and tons of green grapes. I asked one of the guys how much was it for a five pound bag and he said a dollar a pound. There was another woman there and she said she would split the cost with me if I wanted. I said sure. I don't remember any more. there was an earlier part of a separate dream where I remember seeing Carol...my former boss from one of the networks. I got the impression she was interviewing me for a job and it was going really well. Every time I have these dreams they are so vivid.

Anyway, lots to do as usual. I finally received a contact name at National so I need to reach out to her for aid on the project. I also have to craft a secondary survey for additional info that didn't come back from Maria's initial survey. It's getting interesting now. I only have just over a week left to get my outline and initial references done. I know I'm making myself crazy but better to do that than not care at all right? Ha ha. Oh...Lor left me the funniest voicemail yesterday evening. She made me laugh. She said that one of her classmates said something similar to her that was said to me. She said her classmate made the correlation that those of us who aren't working have nothing but time to do schoolwork and should get straight A's. She wanted to kick his teeth in (just like I did). Ha ha. I was working full time and got A's and B's. I am not currently working and got A's and B's. Just because some of us aren't working right now doesn't mean we have all the time in the world. Everyone has a cross to bear in this world. It's funny how people who say we make assumptions make up assumptions of their own. Are they saying that since people like Lor and I aren't currently working that we have nothing better to do? Only fools would imply such a thing! Her message really made me laugh and commiserate.

I heard back from Sharon. She says May is a great time in her schedule for me to visit London again. I really wanted to go to South Korea this summer but I haven't heard from Sungrim so i'm left in a state of limbo. It would be great to see Aunt Gloria and the rest of the family again. I think i'm going to look at late May and see if I can get a good ticket price. This time i'll make sure to see all of the tourist attractions I didn't get to see the first time out. I better get going. Tons of work and yet another workout. I'm going to try to kick it up a notch next week and see if I can manage four days a week on top of the workload and other life functions. I hope tonight's rain holds up until at least 11pm. It's going to be a nasty storm. At least it looks really nice out now.

Modern Comforts

Since I only have about a half hour's worth of electricity left this will be the fastest typed post ever! Thank goodness I can type 70wpm. Power has been down since 5am and the landlord says it may be down for another couple of hours. This is the one time my need to print things out has worked in my favor. I have tons of schoolwork to do and my access to the library will be down. However, at least I have hard copies of my articles and notes from contacts so it won't be so bad. It goes to show you that in some cases, we don't have to depend on technology to get stuff done. I do hope it does come back up so that my groceries won't spoil. The situation kind of reminds me of when we had the blackout a couple of years ago. Everyone at work was freaking out because they couldn't check email, make phone calls, nothing. The funny thing was that the people who were freaking out weren't worried about other human beings...they were only worried about generating revenue. They weren't even thinking about those who had elderly loved ones and children that they couldn't get a hold of to make sure everything was o.k. I heard it took them two hours of debating to see if other employees could leave or not. I heard it when we got back to work a couple of days later. On the blackout day, I had called into the newsroom at my old job about ten minutes after power went out and Mark told me the entire Eastern seaboard was out of power...I told my boss i'm leaving to try to get home and I left. I wasn't going to debate with them or wait for them to make a decision based on money. Many others followed my lead and left with me. I guess it's all about perspective. I better go before I get a power hit or something that will totally mess up the computer. I'll continue to use the electrical currents in my brain to get stuff done.

Ball Gowns, WGs, A Killing, and Cake during Sunrise

don't have time to write right now but needless to say, yet another crazy dream involving all of the elements in the title. It looks a little messy outside. I already hear the shovels...bummer. Anyway, have to head up to the hospital. Will revisit post after class.

Just before 11pm...i'm really tired. It was a long day at the hospital and then class and reading and other stuff. I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow I will elaborate on the dream (or what I can remember of it)

I Love Andy Rooney

Sometimes we hold on to things we would rather forget. Those were the parting words from Rooney on 60 minutes last night. He was talking about what I have been talking about for days...clutter and holding on to things unnecessarily. Perfect timing for a commentary! Over the past year really I have been evaluating and implementing an action plan for eliminating clutter and confusion from my life on all levels...physically, spiritually, emotionally. Actually the process has been one in the making for years but with each month I gain more and more knowledge and perspective. I guess its true that you do see things in your thirties much differently than the previous decade. I try to follow that ageless saying of "if you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it's yours...if it doesn't it never was to begin with." It fits in so many instances. While I do still fear certain things, I have found that many of my fears have dissipated and more and more of them are fading as I work towards facing them. That's a very positive step for me! In many ways I have some of the characteristics Rooney has...I'm opinionated, I ask a lot of questions, and I too am getting older. Sometimes I say I'd rather forget certain things but now I don't. I want to remember everything! For every moment shapes and defines the foundation I have laid for myself. The difference between Rooney and I is that he has lived a very good, long life. I have yet to do so. I will. Moment by moment...until there are no more.

Snow falls on the Concrete Jungle

It has started to snow. I am so excited! I get to break in a new pair of boots tomorrow. Good thing I went looking last week otherwise I would really be screwed. Four to seven inches is expected. Can't wait. Today was somewhat productive. The end of the sofa has been cleared and all of the recycling has been bundled. I don't have enough room for all of the clothes to fit in the closet so that means I have to give away some more. I'm a little hesitant to do so since I don't have a steady form of income coming in yet. If I get rid of something that I indeed need, I won't be able to replace it since the rest of my savings will go towards living expenses. Unemployment runs out in two weeks so thank goodness I know how to save. It will truly come in handy now. In addition to getting rid of unnecessary piles, I also got rid of unnecessary emails. What a cathartic experience. Very freeing to just let go and let god as many would say. I have a feeling great things are just on the horizon and it won't be long now before more goodness will enter my life. I just had a great cup of hot cocoa. The Oscars start in a few minutes. I'll be watching every moment no matter how late it runs. Tomorrow I have to get up early for some volunteer work. I'm going to make a snow Angela tomorrow. Can hardly wait!

And the Oscar Goes to...

Angela for Best Original Screenplay! O.K. So I actually have to write an award worthy script but hey...it can happen! Tonight is the Oscars so here are my pics for 2007:

Best Picture- The Departed
Best Director- Martin Scorsese
Original Screenplay- Little Miss Sunshine
Adapted Screenplay- Notes on A Scandel
Best Actress- Judi Dench
Best Actor- Forest Whitaker
Original Song- Our Town
Original Score- Notes on a Scandel
Best Supporting Actress- Jenifer Hudson
Best Supporting Actor- Eddie Murphy

I hope to one day attend this awards show as a nominee or guest. It seems like such a magnamous experience. Besides, everyone knows I like to get all dressed up. Anyway...more later.