It has not gone lost on me that God has been sending me oh so not so subtle messages to never give up even when I have my days of wanting to wallow in sadness. I'm glad he gave me enough sense to pay attention as well as the gift of listening. I get it Lord! LOL. I was feeling a bit down yesterday. This morning CBS was its usual summer repeat so I made sure to tune in to see what Joel Olsteen was preaching. Today's message was as the title post indicates, "Having a Never Say Die Attitude." In a nutshell, the message was to not focus everything on what has happened but rather what will if I keep trying. I especially liked the story he told of the two frogs in the bowl with the cream. In the end one frog didn't make it. I will be the frog that did.
It looks like such a nice day outside. I should walk to the market to get a couple of items. Not sure what I'll cook for dinner tonight. Maybe some pan seared scallops in a brown sauce and a side salad of mixed greens with strawberries and an Italian vinaigrette? As a colleague of mine would say when we sometimes talk food prep, " I'm getting all gourmet. " Ha ha. I happen to like cooking. Guess you could say since it takes heart and soul to make good food, I have heart and soul. Just took out some frozen scallops from the freezer. Scallops it is. LOL. I think I want sorbet for dessert. Will look for a pint at the market. Will be a nice cool treat for the evening.
Heard from Evan this morning. Great news. He and Rachel are expecting a baby in April. Very good to hear they will be expanding their family. Also heard from a former friend the other day. Haven't heard from her in almost a year. I'm not sure what to make of her phone call as I knew on one hand why she called. It's very predictable really. Last time we talked she called to tell me she was dating somebody so knowing her as well as I do, that meant the next time I was going to hear from her would be when there was some man crisis. Hence that was part of the phone call. On the other hand, she also called to apologize for not being a good friend. I'm sure she was sincere however like I told her many have abandoned me under the guise of "being too busy" or that "Angela is the problem." I'm in a place in my life where I don't need to hear empty promises. I realized a long time ago that many will never know that being a true friend sometimes means sacrificing self for another. Not really sure what to make of her phone call but I'm not mad or anything. Just going with how I feel which is at this time is indifferent; could roll with it either way.
Also heard from two loser guys who seem to think I'm just sitting around waiting for them. I believe this is what Steve Harvey would refer to as men who have deemed me sport fish when I'm really a keeper fish. I'm just glad that these were guys who I didn't sleep with and didn't have any real vested interest in based on their lazy, lackluster attitude about dating. Goes back to my debatable argument of why do we really need men? Think about it, scientists are now working on genetically engineering sperm. Once that's done it's a wrap for guys...at least on some level. I can't speak for all women but I still hope to one day have a loving man in my life who treats me with dignity and respect. But if some men complain about paying a bridge toll to see you well....that's not a good thing for male/female relationships. LOL. One of these guys even had the stones to text me asking if he could see me again. Needless to say we won't be seeing one another. As much as I dislike being alone sometimes, I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones. Seems like over the last few weeks many have been contacting me after the fact. Strange.
I think I want to head over to The Met next weekend to see some of the exhibits. I've never been there so it would be a good treat. Since it's Labor Day weekend it should for the most part be another quiet one. I don't think I'll go to the parade but we'll see. That's more fun with people. If I can meet up with a new group that wants to take the adventure then maybe. We'll see. I'm also looking forward to a reading that I'm having done next week. Still trying to find my exact place in this world so maybe a reading can shed some light as to why I was brought here at a particular time and location. I'm hoping that in terms of work, love life, and personal happiness the report will be good. One thing that I think is true is that the man who has been designed for me isn't in New York. I think that when I have the opportunity to travel again that is where we will meet or maybe I'll be moving out of New York soon. I could be wrong but it's been years and apparently all of the guys I have met/ been meeting are not him. Nothing could have been more disastrous than the whole O'Neil thing. Think about it...could I have been any more rejected than that? At least it gave me a starting point to bounce back from. I'm sure many other women would have become bitter. I'm not, don't have time to waste on the past especially on a guy who didn't respect or value me enough to tell me the truth...no matter what it was. Same thing applies to personal happiness. The whole thing with Lorraine really bothered me. I really thought she was my friend however it would appear that was not the case. I'm glad that she decided to email out to I guess everyone (whereas I sent email to two people) telling them that she's done with me. I wish her nothing but the best. She'll never know just how painful it was for me that she, like so many others, scheduled me and wasn't as flexible as she thinks. One thing that she was right about...I'm strong. I'll survive and I think very soon, thrive. I can honestly say that up to this moment in my life, I have no regrets about anything from my work life, to my love life, to my friend interaction, to the lose of people I cared about. No regrets whatsoever. I work at my friendships...it's just a matter of time that more will work on them with me. I'm glad I still have a few people in my life.
OK. better go. Times ticking and the sun is out. Later.
