Angela Has Died

Some days I wonder what my obituary would say if I died tomorrow. Alot of people think it's morbid to think about death yet alone talk about it but I guess for me, it's a little bit difficult not to think about it. When one is alone like me, it's hard not to think even more what impact, if any, I have in this lifetime. If I actually died tomorrow, I'm sorry to say that nobody would notice. It hurts my heart to know this as a fact but it is what it is. My current obituary would read:

Angela was born in Brooklyn, NY on December 24th. She had two birthday cakes in her entire lifetime. She spent her time here volunteering and anonymously helping strangers and that brought her joy in an otherwise lonely existence. She never married as no man thought she was worthy enough of his time. She never had children because she actually believed in and respected the sanctity of marriage and family. Aside from volunteering, travel brought her much joy and she did so as often as she could. Most of her travels were solo adventures. She is survived by an immediate family that never really knew her. She left whatever worldly possessions of value as well as a financial contribution to charity. She was 37 years old.

The obituary I would like (if you can indeed like one) would be something like:

Angela was born in Brooklyn NY on December 24th. From the day she entered this world, she was treasured by all she encountered. Her dynamic personality and engaging smile attracted all she met. She encountered several hardships throughout her lifetime and with each valley she still looked towards reaching the summit of the mountain. Her passion was compassion and she donated her time and money to many organizations that treated all they served with dignity and respect. She travelled extensively helping others not only here but overseas. Surprisingly she never thought she would get married since she was rejected by just about every man she met. Yet during her travels she met the one man who knew how special she really was a refused to let her get away. They were each others equal in every sense of the word. Together they built a rising enterprise professionally and personally they created a wonderful life filled with love, respect, and laughter. She leaves behind her devoted, loving husband of forty years and three children.

I guess I'll never know which of these obits will manifest since I won't be present to hear it. I still have a slight flicker of hope that the second scenario will happen but if the last 30 years of my life are any indication, then it's not looking too good. Strangely I feel good seeing these words in writing.