The Date

I've always felt left out of the dating world simply because I haven't dated that much. Most of the men that I have encountered left me feeling lonelier than when I spent time by myself. So I found it quite refreshing the other day to have had a dating experience that left me asking myself, "Why have I been limiting myself to losers when there are clearly still nice guys out there in the world?

Given my background of having subjected myself to the worst kind of love in the universe....unrequited love...I felt really empowered over the course of the last few months putting myself, and my emotions, back out there so to speak. I smiled more. I held my head up a bit higher. Stood tall and walked strong. And more importantly....I loved myself more. In doing so, all of this has led me back into the dating universe...strong enough to handle whatever came my way. I posted my profile on two dating sites. Actually spoke to men who approached me in a pleasant manner. Rejected those who were crass and not viable contenders. Responded to emails...and refused to respond to the past. The culmination...several dates...the best of which came Thursday evening.

Let's call this date "Mr. G.". Mr. G to date has been a perfect gentleman...which nowadays is totally refreshing and unexpected. For the first week I didn't give him my phone number but instead called him. I have a private phone number so my number doesn't come up on the receiver's end. He didn't blink an eye or even question it. When I finally agreed to a date, I met him at the restaurant even though I know he wanted to pick me up. I got there early and when he arrived, he greeted me with a warm smile and surprisingly a present. The present was a really nice bottle of wine. We had a great meal, great conversation. When the bill came I offered to assist. He declined. Twice. When it came to getting home, I declined the offer of a ride but he did insist on calling me to make sure I got in ok. And he did. It's been a really long time since I've had a date go ever so smoothly and where I actually am looking forward to a second with the same person! We have plans for dinner and a movie in a couple of days. Even if nothing comes out of these dates, it's nice to know that there are still some men out there who can actually do old school dating! Don't get me wrong...I'm not all traditional, however sometimes it's a good thing to have real dates as opposed to "coffee dates" or speed dates and chats, emails, texts, etc. Nothing ever trumps going out with a person in real time and getting to know them that way! Day by day.

Which leads me back to the answer to my original question. I think I was limiting myself to these "users and losers" because in some small way I was putting myself in a loser category. I have always underestimated my worth and power when it came to the men in my life. Always felt less than simply because I didn't have the resources that many others had. What I didn't realize is that I have the one resource that many will never have....I have me and the beautiful energy and spirit God gave me! I almost lost my mind trying to figure out why one person in particular wouldn't come out and just tell me he didn't love me or even like me even though he knew full well that I was totally in love with him. Unrequited Love....it slowly kills the loving party and all hope of anyone else loving them because they are consumed with someone who never deserved their love in the first place. For the lucky ones like me who eventually realize that that type of love is sure death, we slowly rechannel the love...first to ourselves....then to someone who will recognize that love and put in the time, energy, and work to earn that very love. I am neither a user nor a loser. I see that now.

Here's to many more first, second, third, whatever dates whether they are with Mr. G or other men. Call me strange but I know that my match is going to connect with me soon. I don't know why now but I do feel it. OK. More tomorrow. I still didn't get to the article about settling but will then. Some interesting theories out there.

One More Great Date for the Books

It's not snowing yet but I can't wait to wake up in the morning and see all of the beauty that will be waiting...hopefully I will be able to enjoy some of it before the snow haters bring out the shovels. Had a great date last night but will elaborate on it more tomorrow since I will have more time then. I was reading a good article about a new book that is encouraging women to "settle" in relationships. Will share my thoughts on that tomorrow also. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! I love it!

The Mouse and the Man

For the last few days I have had a low migraine headache going on so I surely thought that for sure I would be able to get some much needed rest and do some lite work today at home. When I initially woke just after 6am or so to go to the bathroom, I remember thinking how peaceful and quiet it was for the early morning. The street was calm...that's how I knew there was enough snow to blanket the street. Of course I did hear the stupid super/grandson about 15 minutes later shoveling and making a whole lot of noise. You can never enjoy the snow when he's around. Anyway, I went back to sleep and when I awoke, there was a different sound. It was a sound I am not familiar with at all but instinctually knew was that of something else moving in my space. IT WAS A MOUSE! OH MY GOD! I can laugh now but this morning was a completely different story.

Apparently the glue traps that my father had put down behind the fridge about two or three months ago "trapped" it's intended target. A small mouse landed himself right smack in the middle and couldn't get off. Every so often s/he would shriek in a cry for help. As for me, I assumed the standard position....in the middle of my bed curled in fear and disgust as I frantically dialed my father and prayed that this time he would answer his phone! He screens his calls...not really sure why but it's so frustrating. Thank goodness this time he did indeed answer. It seemed like the longest hour and a half of my life listening to some rodent literally ten feet away trying to escape for dear life and making noise. Clearly I don't do well with rodents running amuck. It is in these moments that really make me wish I were married or involved. I know it's such a cliche' however I'm totally going to take the girl route here and leave the mouse fighting to the men. LOL.

Anywho, my dad came over and put the little bastard out of his misery. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Just gross! I really hope there are never any more issues like this. Really not my cup of tea. I don't want anything moving in my space unless I invited it in. Ha ha.

So on more upbeat news, I have another date tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I think I may have stumbled upon someone really special but I'm not going to put the cart before the horse so to speak. Take it day by day. I better go. More hopefully tomorrow. More snow on the way for the weekend...how exciting...more snow Angelas? I hope so.