Had a Beautiful Day today

Today I volunteered again for the Food Bank and met some really nice people and also got to try really good truck vendor foods. It was the annual Drive In and the hot truck of day was The Krave...Korean BBQ. Can you say yummie?!? I am a kimchi addict. LOL. It was hot today however the combination of fun people, good food, and great views of the Brooklyn Bridge...and oh yeah...beer and wine...made the event very good. Put in six hours of volunteer time and was happy to do so for a great cause...as always.

I normally hate weekends but today was indeed great and also helped to offset the actions of some asshole dude who has his ego so far up his ass that even the proverbial bug can't get up there! You know the type of guys, not men, I'm talking about...the ones who have to always be right at any cost, always have to have the last word, the ones who will hit below the belt to try to hurt you because they think that's a good way to defend a bruised ego. I think they are assholes. Real men never disrespect women...EVER...even when a woman is at her worst. In this case this jerk that I was dating up until last week was so disrespectful that he seems to think he could hurt me with words. I can assure you he didn't. For him, a diabetic and someone who had a mild heart attack, eating cheese every day, eggs, not taking medication properly, and overall not eating properly...he seems to think he's a great catch while he's slowly killing himself intentionally. It's one thing to take care of someone who is trying to be well...it's another when they have no disregard for themselves and continue along a path that will eventually require them to need a nurse or caretaker. I have a feeling he will regret all the words that he cowardly emailed to me. The funny thing is I don't hold a grudge. While we will never be friends, he's forgiven already for his poor behavior. His email was really offensive and disgusting. The up side to this is that I now know what it's like to date a divorced man who has children. That's a first. My preference is still to date single men with no kids but heck...what man doesn't have kids in their mid thirties?!? I'm considered a rarity to never have been married yet and not have any kids. Hey...call me responsible. I'm not picky however I do have standards also. Trust and respect is a foundation not an option with me. I give them and expect them in return. If that's making me picky then I many never get married or have kids. I do believe the right man is out there for me. He doesn't have to be perfect...just perfect for me and me for him. Even on my darkest days when I'm having my pitty party and say there is nobody out there for me, I know deep down that's not true. I do believe I am a good person and I don't think God and the universe will have me wandering alone until the day I die. He's still preparing for me and I am still preparing for him.

Next week will be busy as I finally move into the new space. I'm nervous due to the extra money I will spend due to higher rent but I'm going to take the risk anyway as my intuition tells me it's a right move. I'm really excited that I will finally have a real kitchen. Surprisingly, I love to cook and working in a real kitchen space instead of the kitchenette I currently have will definitely be an upgrade. I pray that a better job is on the immediate horizon for me. As much as I am a good renter, my hope for myself is to one day successfully own a space of my own. Doesn't need to be big but I just want something I own free and clear so that I always know I am not at the mercy of an owner. It will bring me much more peace once I am able to accomplish that goal. I pray my next gig comes soon otherwise I will have to close out my last remaining IRA account to survive. Right now I only have three months of rent left. I can live off of bananas and yogurt...I can't survive if I'm homeless.

I've been thinking alot about my language skills. I hope to be fluent in Spanish by this time next year. Once I do that I think I will take French as I would like to go to Haiti to work with a NGO in the rebuilding process. It is so important to rebuild and I want to make sure that I speak the language of the residents. I don't want to have language be a barrier. I think I'm going to try some of the local high schools to see if I can barter for language lessons. Let's see what happens.

OK. I have too many things on my mind to fully articulate on any one subject further right now (perhaps all the sun...and sunburn I took in is starting to kick in.) Winding down from the shower I took about an hour ago...man was I sweaty and sticky...lol. Ah...these are the days I miss having a boyfriend...Boy would he have gotten lucky...ha ha. OK...better go. More tomorrow.

A Message to Rainne

Thank you! As always, your comments come at a time when I need to hear from somebody. It's been a rough month but I am finally able to come up for air and breathe. It's always difficult as a freelancer with little support from others. In the midst of this latest downturn, I have come up with the working title of my book and have started converting it from my head to the page. I will keep writing and I will keep posting (hopefully with more regularity).

Thanks again for listening. While we don't know one another...you have helped greatly and I appreciate and value you!

Ang