WWJD

With every new year brings new challenges, new joys, new sadness, just...newness. In the past hour, I have literally felt my blood pressure surge while feeling the disconnect of what will soon be the end of another friendship. You would think planning something as simple as a baby shower would be well...simple. So far this has been anything except that. I really feel the couple involved should have thrown their own shower and I would have been happy just being a guest. There's nothing like planning a party where at every step of the way one is being micromanaged. I don't like being micromanaged. That look never suits me in any circumstance.

Since I was raised properly, I will finish out my commitment and get everything organized for the party...and then...i'm done...literally and figuratively. Done with others and their bad behavior. I'm sure that's what Jesus would want me to do. While i'm no devil...i'm no saint either. It frustrates me when I put so much time, energy, and good intentions into a project, only for others to attempt to step all over my feelings and basically not care that their actions hurt me? Patient does not mean pushover people! I'm very patient. I am far from being a pushover! I really am pissed off right now. I don't know who i'm madder at...the guest who invited another guest who will no doubt cause a problem with me or the expected mom for not saying something about the situation to that guest since I am her friend and the guest is not. I feel more angry at the mom to be. Knowing what the situation is, she would rather have it that I cannot enjoy anything and that I just pretend to be happy for her sake. Screw that. What makes her think that just because she's pregnant, only her feelings count??? Since i'm a lady, i'll reserve some of the choice words that are rambling in my head and not write them out.

The funny thing is there's nobody around to vent to as is always the case. I guess it's good that I can take care of myself. Good thing I just came back from what so far has been one of my best vacations to date. Not sure if that's a good thing considering I went by myself. I'm going to say it was a good thing. I met so many people and forced myself not to be inhibited and that was such a freeing process! I'll tell more about the trip in a separate post. As for the upcoming shower...i'll be very happy when it comes and goes. My last committed obligation to anyone. All of my friends don't realize just how out of touch I will be. Many probably won't even notice a thing. While my goal is not to be anti-social, I feel that at this point in my life, I need to be surrounded by people who can at least make an effort to keep me in their lives. Friendship is a two way street. O.K. I feel a bit calmer now that I know what i'm going to do about the party situation. BTW...HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's to a great 2008!