Is Chilvary Really Dead?

In a big city like New York, it seems like there isn't much time for anything. Everyone is rushing to get to the next appointment. Subways are overflowing with people racing to get to work on time. The streets are filled with vendors trying to sell "affordable" items such as watches and brick-a-brak. Everyone is racing to something else. At what point do we all stop racing?

This morning as I was getting off of the overcrowded "F" train, a guy raced past me to get up the staircase. I thought to myself, "what a jerk...didnt' he see a lady (that would be me) was present?!?" Am I being so ultra-traditional that my expectation is that a gentleman defers to a lady in this type of situation? Are we (and by we I mean women) so independant now that we should not expect men to do "simple" things men traditional use to do? Should we (again by we I mean women) always be opening our own doors, splitting the bill on first dates, and dating like men i.e. multiple guys at the same time?

How do men feel about this situation? Most guys I've asked say they see nothing wrong with splitting a bill on the first date. However they also are unable to answer my follow up question which is, "at what point does a man feel emasculated?" If we as women are doing everything for ourselves, including fostering children independent of a man (sperm banks), shouldn't men be happy that we aren't so dependant on them? Many men feel that having a child this way is unnatural, however by saying that are men saying that they are feeling left out...emasculated??? If that's the case, why do so many men encourage women to do for themselves then punish these same women for being too independent? Where is the neutral ground? Is there one?

For me, I guess you can say I am old school with a twist of modern conventionalism. I do believe that men should every once in a while open the car door for their significant other. I do believe that men should walk beside their loved one and not in front of her. And, I do believe that women can be independant while a man can feel masculine. It's all about balance mixed with communication. You also have to take the time to acknowledge the differences, the reasons behind the actions, and the willingness to embrace new ideas while holding on to a few from the past.