The Pursuit of Happyness

I've watched an obscene amount of television this week. I think more than I have in an entire year. It's time to get my butt back in goal mode and stop wallowing in my self-imposed pity party. One good thing about my t.v. binge though was watching today's episode of Oprah. Chris Gardner was on and his life story is very powerful and inspirational to me. I cried watching most of the show and segment of the upcoming movie. I remember watching him on 20/20 last July and running out to buy his book, "The Pursuit of Happyness". I remember him talking about why he named the book the way he did with the typo and all. He was in a classroom speaking to kids and that quote was on a banner among other uplifting sayings. I remember helping my mother decorate her classroom every year...helping to put up similar, motivating sayings and decorations. It makes me think hard. Life is one big classroom isn't it? Through trial and error...I'm learning.

Thinking about Gardner and his struggles with raising his son, I am in awe as to how they made it through those dark days. I kept thinking, damn Ang...get it together. Why are you fighting against yourself? Stop it. At the gym in front of the treadmills Jeff and Darren have posters that are literally in your face. I have read it an analyzed it so much I know it by heart. They read, "Life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating the person you want to be. You decide who you want to be." I know I don't want to be some angry, depressed, irrational woman who locks herself in her space. I want to be many things... I want to be a woman of honor, one who continues to help her community, and a woman who is at peace with those around her and with herself. It all starts with me. Some things I can create on my own...others I need help with. I have to forgive myself for my stupid mistakes and move forward. I picked up another wish assignment...Natlie. By helping someone else it reminds me not to be so selfish. Tomorrow i'm going to find someplace to volunteer my time and remember to be thankful for what I have...and for what I don't have.