My Guardian Angel

There was no point in me even laying in bed since I wasn't even sleepy when I tried to go to sleep. Big surprise...I can't sleep. I think this is the worst case of insomnia yet for me. These have been the weeks and months I wish I know somebody who is awake in the middle of the night. It's ironic that I am the one people call in the middle of the night yet I have nobody to call. I guess that's life.

I've been thinking a lot about a dream I had many years ago where I met my guardian angel. I remember this bright light in the middle of the darkness. The light was coming from the illumination of his wings. I remember his name. I call it a dream but deep down I know it was real. Sometimes I wonder what my guardian angel thinks about when I have my meltdowns. I wonder what he thinks when I have my super confident days. I wonder if he knows what will happen to me today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next year. Will there be today, tomorrow, next week, next year? Will it be good or will it be bad? Does he listen to me on these nights when I can't sleep? Is he protecting me now? Will he always protect me? Is he listening now?

It's quiet outside. The only thing I hear is the wind. I can feel the cold air rushing in through the slightly opened window. It feels good. Only four cars have gone by in the past hour and a half. Everyone sleeps...but me.

Natalie's Wish Day

It was a good day today for Natalie and Make A Wish. She and her family traveled from the Midwest and her wish was to meet Vera Wang. She and her staff were very good with Natalie and her family. There was a big lunch with birthday cake. The rest of the day was exciting for her as Vera walked her through the design process. There were also lots of surprises including the custom made wardrobe that Natalie gets to take home. The best part for her was also the custom made prom dress and private fitting with Vera. The designer even made a ten thousand dollar donation to the Foundation. I can't wait to see the GMA piece when it makes it to air. I must say though I didn't care for Chris Cuomo that much. Too much of a rushed reporter attitude. I'm really happy though that Natalie had a fabulous day. Her happiness makes me happy. She has had a long road but at least today's experience is one that she will be able to remember forever. For me, this was a good wish assist to wrap up the year with. Over the course of this year, I have been able to meet some amazing families and dynamic children and teens. The wishes as unique as the child. The moments...priceless. These are the days I know volunteering my time is worth it.

Bits and Pieces of a Dream

I had yet another crazy dream early this morning and remember it in bits and pieces. I was in a supermarket looking for a watch. I remember talking to people in the market that I obviously knew but don't remember what the conversations were about. I also remember picking up a watch similar to a Timex. I tried it on and decided I didn't like it and put it down. It was the only watch there. I remember hearing the second hand ticking. In a separate dream, I was walking in a clothing store and encountered one of my professors sleeping on top of a cardboard box. Next to her was a little girl who I felt was her daughter. She was about 18 months old and crying. I remember picking the toddler up and as we all walked, she stopped crying. Next, we were all standing on the second floor of my mother's house walking into my bedroom. I remember a young guy standing in the doorway telling me she must like you if she stopped crying. I don't remember anymore. How weird of a dream is that? I haven't worn a watch in almost four years. I don't know anything about my professor except she's a tough grader. And none of the people in the dream know my mother. Not sure how to interpret this one. I'll have to think about it some more and revisit this posting later.

9:27am...Just came back from a good workout. There was only two of us there so the tasks were more challenging but Darren had good music going so it helped us to push through. It actually was more fun today too because I was the only girl in class and the boys were singing on either side of me. Too cute. On the walk home I thought about the dream a little more. I think the little girl in the dream was based on the little girl that was screaming her head off on the bus on Monday. She was crying and kept saying "Grandmother". She looked to be under two. I was literally sitting in the seat directly in front of her. I turned around and asked, "what's the matter little one" and she said grandmother again and then stopped crying. I think she tired herself out with all of her previous crying. As for the watch. Still not sure if/what that means. Dreams are definitely interesting. Anyway, I better eat something, take a shower, and get to all of this work. It's nice and cold outside. Love it!

Go Forward

So I didn't sleep as well as I did yesterday but I did have a great conversation late last night with Portia. It's always so good to catch up with her. She moved into her own apartment about two months ago in Birmingham. I'm so proud of her! It has been a long road for her after the family lost basically everything to Hurricane Katrina. Her intelligence, compassion, and calm amaze me. I often wonder what I would do in a situation such as the one she faced. Leaving home only to find out you can't come back to it. Maybe in some parallel way I have faced a similar situation. Picking up, going out into the unknown, moving ahead, going forward. She inspires me. I'll have to think of a really good housewarming gift to send. I think I would like to visit her in 2007 as well. I can't believe the last time I saw her was four years ago in New Orleans. Time certainly does fly. It was a good day yesterday. Today I tackle that paper that I don't want to do. Portia reminds me that each one of us is too blessed to be stressed and to go forward in the wake of adversity.

The First Snow of the Season

I have made a milestone today. I actually was able to get five consecutive hours of sleep! My goodness...I feel ten times better! I did still wake up at 4:48 but last night was the first time in a long time that I fell asleep before 11:30. Let's see if this good fortune continues. I have so much work to do. On an extra bonus good note, I received a return email from economist Thomas Sowell. In an offshot chance of actually getting a response, I sent him an email last Thursday asking for an updated comment for my Racial Disparities final paper. He replied! How cool is that?!? This is one day where I am actually amazed with the power of the web! Anyway. I better get moving. I definitely have some sweating to do after this weekend's activities. Let's see if I get a chance to revisit this post later. What the heck happened to the dusting of snow that was supposed to come this morning?!? Not a snowflake yet but I'm going to be optimistic.