It's My Life

It's been a while since I visited the post. Been a bit busy. Well...my days as a woman of leisure have temporarily come to a close with the addition of a new temp to perm position at Columbia. I think this could be a potentially good fit but we'll see what happens. Just started this past Wed. Of course the first day I was late just like everyone else due to the torrential flooding that crippled mass transit. It took me three hours to get there! There's your New York Story of the Day! LOL. I'm feeling much better this morning after a very difficult day yesterday. I basically told Kevin not to call on me anymore. I always seem to find the guys who are smart, ambitions, focused, and have no time to do anything but work. No balance between work and personal life. I can't have that in my slice of the universe anymore. I actually cried last night after the events of the evening unfolded. I think I have gotten so use to guys treating me this way that I can even control my tears. I felt like crying in that uncomfortable silent car ride home. Never let a man see that he has the ability to make me cry sad tears. I must also remember to remind myself constantly that I now know it's not me. I have worked on me for a long time and now know that I am giving my best at all times in all situations. The right man will come along eventually...and if he doesn't...what God has given me is just fine. No more sitting on the sidelines waiting. I must go forward.

As for this year's birthday adventure....I think I have narrowed it down to the final three selections. Haven't decided yet so I won't share! I am 99% sure that I will be travelling alone. This time I won't know anyone at the destination. That will be an adventure in and of itself! I will look forward to it whether I have a person or people going with me or alone. The older I get...the wiser I actually feel. It's an interesting yet scary feeling. Don't get me wrong, I still have many "stupid days". LOL. In fact, nine out of ten times I don't feel as smart as many paint me out to be! I'm but a simple girl from Brooklyn. What do I know?!? Anyway, I feel that tons of fears that I had in the past are gone now that I have addressed them. Good, bad, ugly, beautiful...I really feel alive and dare I say it...happy! I find this ironic considering I don't have a full time job yet, no love life, after next week no medical and dental benefits, and no real trustworthy base of support (except for a few close friends). How interesting. It's a good feeling.

1:30pm...so my sister calls me with yet more drama going on over at the house. I feel calm. All I can do it listen. She will have to figure out what will make her happy and have to work towards it. I can no longer get sucked into that vortex of negative energy over there. I have a slight headache...think I need to eat lunch. More tomorrow.