Temptation Alley

I have been tempted for the last two days. Tempted to hook up with boytoy. Tempted to call old boyfriends just to hook up and leave. Just tempted. Chalk it up to hormones. I want sex so badly that it's taking all of my strength to fight the temptation. I'm winning...but barely. It's not so much the act of sex but rather the physical contact with someone of the opposite sex that is calling me. It's been about four months since I've last had any guy touch me. The more time passes, the more difficult it gets to stop thinking about it...no matter how much I occupy my time. I know God is testing me and so far i'm passing...but like I said before...barely. Miriam says she has a mantra for me towards attracting the right mate. I hope I see her soon. In the meantime, I watched four movies today after I cleaned up. That's a record for me on a lonely Saturday night. Oh well. I did have a great Friday where I found not one but two denim skirts that make my "assets" look good! I've been feeling extra sexy these days. That's a great thing whether I have a man or not. I'm slightly down now but I know tomorrow will be better. O.k. Back to another movie.

The Makings of Another Great Day- Summer Solstice

For the most part I slept pretty well last night. I think I got almost seven hours of sleep so that's quite an improvement for me. I did have the same experience that i'll call a dream similar to the other night. It must have been a dream and in it, I clearly heard a man calling my name simply saying "Angela". The tone and inflection was that of trying to get my attention. I can't tell who the voice belonged to and as with any weird occurrence, it was totally pitch black so I didn't see anyone or anything. Interesting.

Today is shaping up to be a really beautiful one. The sun is bright and pouring into my space. At 2:06pm Summer Solstice begins...the longest day of the year! Summer is here! I can't believe that it's summer already. I am definitely going to make it a point to get to the beach at least twice this year! I didn't go at all last year but will this go around. I did get my beach fix in Tobago in March so that's a good start to the sand season. Ha ha. I still need to learn how to swim. I have to find some free classes somewhere. Anyway, I better get moving. Have an appointment in the city and then meeting up with Lor and then maybe see boytoy later. We'll see. More later.

The Second Part of Today

OMG! What an interesting afternoon and evening! Susan and I went to this drinks and Yoga Zen gathering in midtown and I ran into a former high school classmate...of course the guy I had a major crush on my freshman year! What makes it so funny that we ran into one another is that Susan was telling me about her 20th high school reunion that took place recently and we were talking about crushes and his name came up! LOL. Damn him...he's still cute. Even more interesting was the phone call I got while waiting for Susan. David called me. David is a really nice guy but I have absolutely no interest in him romantically. I would love to be just friends with him but I have a feeling if I go into that universe he will continue to hope that one day we would be more than friends. I sense another tough conversation with him is on the horizon. And then Mr. Boytoy is IMing me! This is truly a weird second half of the day. Oh well...at least it was interesting! Tomorrow should be fun. Lorraine is treating me to one of my favorite relaxation concepts...a manicure and pedicure. Before we meet up I have my hair appointment. I love hanging out with her. She's a really great friend! O.K. I'm sleepy since I actually had a mixed drink. Talk to myself tomorrow.

Summer in the City

I've been delinquent the last few days with my posts. I'll just blame it on the heat as opposed to me just being lazy the last two days. Actually, if summer will be anything like the last few days I could live with it even though i'm a cold weather girl. Ha ha. Made some excellent progress over the past few days. I've lost another nine pounds over the past three weeks bringing my overall loss to 30 pounds. I can't believe it! Only a million more to go but so what?!? I'm doing it! How exciting. I can actually visualize my target goal. By the time I turn 35...lookout world! Hey...I already think i'm all that and a bag of chips! ha ha.

Oh...before I forget. I saw the strangest yet most interesting thing yesterday. I actually saw a pigeon with a white mohawk! LOL. I actually stopped in my tracks to get a second look. I didn't think fast enough to take a picture with the camera on my cell phone though. Also, I think I may have solved the weird noise I was hearing from my AC unit last week. I was terrified that something was living in there. I was hearing a strange noise every so often like something moving inside the unit. It was freaking me out. This was the one time I was really wishing I had a go to guy to come over and check it out. The good news...I figured it out on my own. The noises I was hearing was a combination of two things. First, there was a wasp like bug flying around in there. It must have gotten in through one of the small outside vents and couldn't figure it's way out. That unfortunate because now it's dead. Second, there is a squirrel that likes to walk on the ledge outside for his early morning and late evening stroll. I think my ledge is part of his commute. ha ha. As a result, to get around the unit, s/he claws around it. I haven't heard major noises since the bug was taken out of the picture. I was sitting here yesterday when M. Squirrel walked past the window. Freaked me out at first because it was unexpected. I'm on the third level. How the heck did it get to the building facade? Then again, there is a tree right outside and it is a squirrel. I shouldn't ask such silly questions that I already know the answer to. LOL.

I've been feeling really happy these days. How is that possible? I have no job as of yet so my financial future is uncertain. I have no real dating prospects so my love life is virtually no-existent unless you count the boytoy into the mix. Perhaps I'm getting even more mature even though at times I'm still a big kid at heart. I think the evolution of my life over the past six years has given me the gift of wisdom that many others may not ever have so for that I feel very fortunate. I still ask myself the question posed to us at the temple...Who Am I? I am Angela.

On the job front, there are a lot of jobs out there, the problem is finding the right match at the right time. I refuse to put myself on sale anymore. I take pride in my work and employers should value the employees they have in their organization. I am really interested in one organization in particular that is launching a new initiative targeting the African American community for positive change. I want to be a part of the program. I must do more research. Keep your fingers crossed for me! While the job search continues, I have been catching up on books I didn't get to read since September. I'm on Suze Orman's book now, after that it's on to Jack Welsh's book. I love that I'm seeing Elizabeth Gilbert's book on many summer reading lists. I finished that one while in Korea. Wonderful. O.K. better get on it with today's searches.

O.K. Meeting up with Susan for drinks. Should be fun...she's really cool. More later.

Father's Day 2007

It's a beautiful Sunday morning and if the forecasters are correct, it will be a hot summer day even though summer doesn't officially start until Thursday. It's Father's Day and as always I am torn by these national recognition holidays. It's not to say I don't love my father however I simply don't believe in having to set aside an entire day to recognize the fact that we all have fathers. My philosophy is the same for Mother's Day too. Maybe because I didn't have a terrific childhood plays into my beliefs. Or maybe I simply think it's stupid to have to set aside a day to appreciate a parent simply because I believe every day is fathers day and every day is mother's day if you have children. In other countries, they don't have these days like we do but rather Children's Day. The offspring of the parents are revered as precious and are celebrated simply for being born. In turn, their parents are honored during key moments throughout the year including New Year's Eve and wedding day where the child must bow before the parents as a form of respect for life.

I know what you are thinking...she doesn't have children so she simply doesn't get it. You would be absolutely wrong with that assumption. I think it's great that children want to recognize all of the things their father's and/or mother's have done for them. However, like the concept of Christmas, I have a problem with the commercialization of the holiday. Are we supposed to believe that only once a year we need to rush out to buy a gift, plan a dinner, and find the right greeting card to express how we feel inside? I simply don't buy it. People use to be shocked when they would ask me in the days leading up to these two days what I was going to get for my mother or father. My response remains the same today..."I don't believe in celebrating Mother's Day or Father's Day." They are usually stunned but that's only because they don't look at it from all perspectives. With younger and younger parents out there these days and child abuse on the rise, it leads me to believe that we need Children's Day around here 24/7. So many parents these days are wrapped up in the idea of themselves that they forget that they have a responsibility to the person that they brought into this world. I don't know if I will ever have children, only time will tell. However, I do know this for a fact, if I do have children in this lifetime, I don't want them to celebrate these two days. I want them to celebrate that we are a family everyday and not when some national day says they should.

7:55am...Wow....I can't believe it. I was thinking about NahYong for the longest time and guess what...I received an email from her! She sent pictures of her daughter. I can't believe she has a family now! Good for her. I hope though that she finished her residency first. I can't wait to hear back from her to see how her life is going. More later.