Date Like a Man

It's been a bit busy the past week or so. Some good days, some not so good but overall...while I can complain...I won't. I will say that on the good side, I have been getting out there and dating more which is surprisingly has brought on a whole host of emotions for me. I should add that not only am I going out on dates but that I have managed to attract not only one person but rather two...and an ex! LOL. While the ex...Mr. K has no shot of getting back into my good graces as boyfriend material at this time he still wants to stick around as what he describes as "a friend". I made it perfectly clear to him that I'm not interested in dating him and that to even be my friend requires earning my trust and respect ...just like everybody else! He started to cite that I know him and my response was that I thought I knew him but now I don't. He has to start all over.

In part I feel like I'm living out part of Myriah Moore's book, "Date Like a Man" where she advises all women to literally well...date like a man would! Never sink all of your eggs in one basket until you know that the one man will protect that basket with his life. I remember reading her book years ago and I always like her logic of having "a pair and a spare". Two men and a backup until there's the one who stands out from the pack . Given that I often refer to myself as "dating challenged" I often found it difficult to follow this principle because to me it felt like cheating. What I now realize is that it's a numbers game. The more you date, perhaps the better your odds of meeting someone that is compatible. I don't believe I am meant to be alone forever. I've been alone for too long and no longer wish to be. It's time to increase my odds of meeting some more nice guys (I know there are some out there) as opposed to the many losers I have encountered and wasted time on.

As for the other two men...one I mentioned before...Mr. S. We went out about two weeks ago and on that date he brought me a gift of wine. From what I know about him so far, he seems like a stand up type of guy who works hard and spends time with his family. I am getting the sense though that he's a bit laid back when it comes to dating even though he says he wants to get married and have kids in the next three years. I am looking forward to learning a bit more about him on the next date. As for the other...Mr. J...met up with him yesterday for a coffee date. I strongly dislike it when men recommend meeting up for coffee or drinks but I do go nonetheless if we have productive conversations prior to meeting. In this case we did so I deliberately selected one of my favorite small eateries where we had the option to have only coffee and/or a meal also. He was running late but did call to let me know. I appreciated that very much. I had ordered a hot apple cider and was halfway through my cup when he arrived. He apologized again for his lateness. We chatted for about five minutes and then he decided we should have lunch. I didn't order anything but he did and we talked for the hour. We had a very good conversation. He's a pretty interesting man. When the bill came I asked what should I contribute and he said he's got it covered. Here's something I did find extra refreshing....as he was looking at the bill, he thought there was an error...that my cider was not on the bill...so he called the waiter over to let them know that there was an omission. I really admired the honesty! Turns out the cider was on there but it was really cool that he wanted to make sure that everything was settled with the house. LOVE THAT! Before we got up from the table, he said he would really like to see me again and asked when am I free. I said to give me a call and we can meet up again soon. Later that evening around 6:30 or so he called to invite me out to a Lounge where he and his cousin were planning on attending. I respectfully declined citing other plans but did ask for a raincheck. I don't know much about this man yet so I can't make myself too available! LOL. He has captured my attention though! Let's see what happens.

What I am feeling as I reenter the dating pool again with an open heart is that while I am slightly scared to get it broken yet again, I'm more happy that I'm taking the chance. I've survived and thrived under the worst of situations. I don't judge men, or anyone for that matter, so I shouldn't worry about these men judging me. Just keep on dating until one of them tells me he only wants me for himself! LOL. More later.

The Goddess Party

Let me start off by saying that I'm really drunk right now. I think the last time I was drunk was freshman year of college when had tequila and beer chasers. I am waiting up for Sue to call and let me know she got home safely. I had fun tonight. Also had a beer and two cosmos. The room is spinning slightly. Went to a club called "The Bitter End" and heard one of her friend's friend play. He was pretty good. Afterwards we went to a Goddess party...one of those parties where men who like plus sized women gather to met well...plus sized women. I actually seldom go to these types of gatherings simply because there are always more women than men there and usually the black guys always gravitate towards the white women. Tonight was no different. This was only my second time going to one of these things. After waiting about 15 minutes to see if any men would buy me a drink I went and got my own. They were busy placating the other women who were practically throwing themselves at them...you know...the really desperate ones.
And by desperate I mean the ones who were showing the T&A and freely letting guys touch them. Totally not me and never will be. Oh...phone ringing. brb.

Sue got home...she must have been flying like a bat out of hell to get back to LI in 20 minutes. Glad she got home safely. Had fun. Glad she invited me out. I'm really sleepy and woozy. Will finish this thought and recap the rest of last night/this morning later after some needed rest.