It's too hard to convey everything that has occurred in the past six weeks in a few sentences but I will try since I'm playing catch up. I believe at the time of my last post, I was about to attend Miriam's birthday celebration. It turned out to be a really good day for her. I took an early train out to CT which in and of itself was a transformational experience. There's always something captivating about leaving the city even if it's an escape to a neighboring area. As the train snaked it's way through upper Manhattan and then through to the outer city, the landscape began to metamorph into a beautiful kaleidoscope of color. Where it was overcast and slightly bleak in the city; in CT the sun broke through the clouds. Trees were still shedding in rainbow fashion. Simply beautiful. I couldn't help but think about my own transformation that continues. Like the trees, I too am going through a new season. More about that in a bit.
The ride up to CT took about and hour and a half but the time went by like the blink of an eye or the single beat of the heart. The cab ride from the station took about five minutes and when I got there most had already eaten but it didn't matter as everyone was having a good time. I love visiting Miriam. Her energy is infectious. She is so wise, so strong. I feel so honored to be a friend of hers. Since I arrived a bit late, I initially ended up sitting at a table by myself to eat as I didn't know anyone else except she and Walter. I thought to myself, "this is interesting...I don't mind sitting alone surrounded by a roomful of people." I use to be terrified to do just that but now I don't fear it. Anyway, about five minutes later Miriam came by to introduce me to one of her former coworkers from the Sally show. She then invited me to sit at her table, which also happened to be Sally's table. I couldn't believe it. I was sitting at a table with Sally Jessy Raphael and her producers! I never imagined that I would meet her at such an intimate setting at that. I remember watching her television show many years ago and admiring her interview style and her confidence. She maintains that edge to this day. It was surreal experience to literally be sitting at the table. Everyone around me had so many life experiences and a vast array of knowledge from politics to travel. Surprisingly, I was able to keep pace with them. Nine out of ten times I feel stupid even though many describe me as smart. A short time later, Miriam blew out her birthday candle and shared with us a poem that Walter had given to her in her birthday card. It was a poem of friendship and love. I forgot to ask her if she would forward a copy to me. I will ask her tomorrow now that I think of it. After the restaurant, a few of us who had been invited in advance, went back to the house for a more intimate gathering. Their house sits on the lake which is as beautiful as the house itself. She opened gifts and cards. She also opened a special bottle of champagne her mother had given to her. Her mother passed away two years ago. It was truly a special day and I am so happy she allowed me to partake in it with her other friends. On the ride home I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to have someone like her in my life.
So, like the trees I spoke of earlier, I too am in a new season. A season of growth in winter...the harshest time of year. I have found that despite the many challenges that come my way year after year, I still grow with the help of family and friends to nurture my spirit. I have also learned to nurture my own spirit when I feel that I am all alone. I realize that I'm never truly alone even when I cry about being alone. I know that God and the many guardian angels he has assigned to me are looking after me. Since the party, I have continued to keep myself busy with my new volunteer initiatives as well as continuing to seek the right fit for me on the employment front. In the meantime, I'll keep temping even though it's a struggle to make ends meet. I am not worried anymore about many things from work, to medical issues, to finding true love. I woke up and just stopped worrying. How freeing it is. I can't truly explain the feeling and why it would come about now in what I would consider the most challenging few years of my life so far. I should be panicked that I may be homeless soon. Instead, I am looking forward to getting on a plane in two weeks for a week long retreat. It doesn't make sense but somehow I know it is right. I'm working on Del's baby shower for next month yet I don't even know if I'll be working by then, yet I don't worry and I know that's right.
I better get going...it's late and I have to get up in a few short hours. More to tell for tomorrow including the Christmas travel project, the Carnegie show my dad and I went to this past week, the mysterious phone calls from Kev, and the recent conversations and visits with O'Neil.
O.K. tomorrow is almost here so better attempt to sleep tonight.
