Migraine Heaven

Migraine, migraine go away...and don't even come back another day. Last night was about the worst night's sleep I could have possibly had. While I have been a long time migraine sufferer, it had been a good while since I had such intense headache pain. My head is still hurting me this morning although not with nearly as much a few short hours ago. Nothing works. Prescription migraine drugs, OTC stuff, holistic help. What gives?!? I may have to talk to my doctor again about other alternatives if there are any to be found. Anyway, last night I literally dozed with the tv on from around 7pm to midnight. I didn't see not one program in it's entirety. LOL. I did hear snippets of 20/20 about luck though. One line I do remember from the program was that those who appear to be lucky are people who are resilient and optimistic. Interesting.

I do remember part of this crazy dream last night/this morning. I was on a cruise ship trying to get the fifth floor. No matter what route I took there appeared to be no fifth floor. Every elevator seemed not to know of the floor. Every staircase let to everywhere else except there. Strange. Reminds me of the dream the other night where I couldn't get to where I needed to be. O.k. it's been a week and all of my clean clothes are still on my sofa. I need to get organized here. At least it will be a nice hot weekend. I have a couple of books to catch up on in addition to cleaning the floors. I hope this headache goes away soon so I can enjoy the nice weekend (even though I still like my snow!) Ha ha. I better go.

Remembering the Future

Finally I slept through the night but am still waking up really early. I forced myself to stay awake until 11:30 last night although I think I dozed a little the hour before. I am only slightly bummed today. I dropped my MP3 player as I was walking home from workout and now the display isn't reading correctly. What ever happened to things like a Timex watch...take a licking and keep on ticking?!? The player didn't even fall that hard on the ground. I hate these electronic devices where the slightest little bump causes the sensor to get all out of wack. The player still works where I can hear music but I can't use any of the other features like the pedometer and workout mode which is the very reason why I purchased this model! What can you do right? When I get a job I'll just have to replace it. On a more positive note, I had this amazingly weird dream this morning where I was on a cruise ship and was witnessing a fantastic sunrise over Manhattan. I remember seeing the Empire State building that's how I know it was NY. I wanted to take a picture and needed to run down to my room to get the camera. Every time I tried to get the camera there was a problem. First a blocked stairway. Next, no key to the room. Finally on the third attempt, I ran into someone on the staircase and started talking. Don't remember the conversation. Needless to say I never got the camera but did see a great sunrise. I think in part that section of the dream was telling me that while photography is a good hobby for me, try not to forget to enjoy the moments of what I witness even if I can't document it on film. The last part of the dream involved me meeting someone. I know this is going to sound crazy but I think I may have met my future husband in this dream. I don't know where I was but he walked up to me, smiled, and introduced himself to me as Doug. He was slightly nervous but not moreso than I. We were standing in front of a car. I remember thinking he's really cute and strikes me as highly intelligent and funny. Interesting dream. Only time will tell if it comes true or not. I must say that I do have moments of dejavu. In reality, I really do believe when I have that feeling, it's just a reminder that I have been here already. Too deep and metaphorical for me to get into right now but perhaps later I will.

As for the physical me, my shoulders are still sore from workout two days ago. I'm sure my rear end will be hurting later today from yesterday's intensity. Ha ha. At least when I'm hurting now, it's nothing like when I first started last Sept. I literally would have to come home and take a shower and sleep for about an hour back then. Now not so much a big deal. Still aches and pains depending on what we do in class but for the most part I feel good...which is a good thing.

The full time job of finding a full time job continues. I am confident something good will turn up for me very soon. I am no longer interested in taking a job just to have a job. I want to work with a nonprofit that is truly making a difference in the lives of children. With over 1.2 million nonprofits in NY alone, I am sure I will find the right place for me to be.

As for the news buzz...it's amazing that the Mayor and City Council can give homeowners even more of a break taxwise but can't do the same for renters. I'm sure my landlord will try to increase the rent yet again even though taxes are flat. For the most part everything revolves around money. Crazy! O.K. the job search continues...more later.

9:31pm...Had a really good lunch with Delsia and Jean at one of my favorite places. It was really good seeing them. I was able to finally go see Delsia's new office. It's cute. Good for her. Talked to Lawrence today as well. He misses me as much as I miss working with him. He's one of the good guys. He thinks my next job will be in San Diego. Hey...you never know since I am looking nationally. My heart will always belong to New York however since nothing is really tying me to it right now I am highly open to relocating. Sunglim says I should teach English in Korea. Hey...again...you never know. I did meet a young woman named Shannon while on the Buddist temple retreat. We exchanged emails since I have a few photos to send to her. I will ask her further how she likes/dislikes her teaching contract. I think she said she will be there until August. O.K. Not really feeling like debating anything tonight.

I Like How Time Flies

I finally made it back to my small space last night and was able to sleep in my own bed. My mother managed to tick me off so royally that I actually felt the blood rushing to my head like a geyser. No need to go into detail since it will only agitate me further but needless to say I am reminded of the cardinal rule in my universe. Not willing to share that either. What I do know is that I am getting more and more comfortable being alone. With school behind me at least for a few months and the full time task of finding full time employment, I find that being able to spend even more time with myself is very freeing. I don't have to be anyone other than me. I woke up this morning just a few minutes before sunrise. The first few thoughts were that of a living will. I will need to research what happens when you don't have anyone to appoint as your medical decision maker. Let's face it...right now if something happens to me, my family will not do as I have verbally expressed many, many times. They simply don't listen so why speak anymore? People use to say I talk about death alot. In reality, they simply weren't listening because the subject made them uncomfortable. I have witnessed many family members leaving behind a mess simply due to avoidance of certain topics. I don't want to make the same mistakes since I already have many other mistakes left to make. I'm really going to have to research and execute this document before the end of the month. O.K. I better go workout. Haven't been there in three weeks so this should be interesting. More later.

10:09pm...So I fell asleep today about 5pm and slept until 7p. I really hope to get back into a normal sleep pattern soon. It was cool listening to the thunder rumble outside. While it poured in the city, in my neck of the woods it didn't rain at all. I'm getting sleepy again in part because it's hot in here. I may have to turn on the air conditioner tomorrow. Better clean the filters first. O.K. I'll pick up with my earlier thought and other stuff then.