It's All about Perspective

There was a really good quote I heard the other day that I heard LL Cool J say on a tv program. Rachel Ray said to him that he is a guy who wears many hats...rapper, author, producer, writer, etc. She followed up that statement by asking him how does he keep up with such a busy life. His response was that he makes it a point to keep perspective and balance on everything. He added that, "there are many who are public successes yet private failures." What a profound statement. So many people strive to make tons of money and build professional and political power yet they don't have the same drive to do the same in their personal lives. The reverse is true as well. Some are good with their personal lives yet seem to flounder in the "outside world". Life really is about balance. I'm still working on Suze Orman's recommended steps which at its foundation is about balance. I am working towards the completing two components.

I think those who don't know me would consider me a public failure. Fired from two jobs, no ownership of any real estate, no husband or boyfriend, and basically no real financial assets aside from a little bit of savings. I use to view myself in that light but everything is really about perspective...how you decide to look at everything. I am neither a public nor personal failure. The average person will have seven jobs in the course of their lifetime. Being fired doesn't mean incompetent or that an employee did something wrong...it means decisions were made to severe a working relationship. Not owning property means perhaps my dream land is not necessarily in the hometown where I have grown up. It could also mean I am not meant to put down roots just yet as conditions are not at optimum just yet. Not being in a relationship doesn't mean I am not desirable or capable of love. It could mean that all of the men I have met so far are not prepared to be involved with anyone. It was interesting to hear the new statistic on women, in particular African Americans. Fifty one percent of women are single...and seventy percent of black women are not married. One theory is that there aren't enough black men out there. My theory is that many women are choosing to cohabitate hoping that marriage will follow. There's a song I like by Natasha Bedinfield called "Single" and I guess you could say the title speaks for itself. One line that stands out for me in the track is, " I'm not gunna get hooked up because you say I should..everything in its right time...everything in its right place." I think now when people ask me why i'm "still" single my response will be "everything in its right time". As for financial assets...I actually have more than someone else somewhere...so why measure what I have against someone who may have more than me? And who is to say that what I have isn't enough for happiness? I could be very wealthy and still miserable. Last night's episode of 20/20 explored that very subject with a man who won the lottery five years ago to a record 349 million dollars. Today he is being sued by many who want his money, the people he held dear to his heart are gone, and he is very unhappy. Who would ever think that a millionaire could be unhappy? Balance and Perspective.

I like my very own quote which most would say is not grammatically correct however since when do quotes have to be just that? I like to be a non-conformist and I am not complex just to be difficult. I am just me. I like to say, "We are all smart...we just each know something different."

The HBO Blues

If ever a time I am missing cable right now...this would be the weekend. I am so going to miss the Sopranos and Entourage! Oh well...at least I can look forward to them on DVD somewhere down the road. Today was pretty quiet with the exception of my dr's. appt and oh yes...I fell in my space...first time ever! I was getting ready to sit down at the computer and the chair tipped in a weird way. Before I could even figure out what was going on I was already halfway to the ground. As I was falling I do remember thinking to myself to make sure not to hit my head on the desk or bureau. Once on the ground I started to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the entire fall. What is that saying about most accidents happen at home??? At least I didn't hurt myself or break anything. For a split second though I did have that thought about what if I did hit my head and pass out...how long would I be laying on the floor until I either woke up or was discovered? I know I shouldn't have those thoughts but it did pop into my head too on the way down. Thank goodness in this event I know the outcome. Let's hope for no more accidents at home.

I applied to three more leads and a really cool paid summer internship so lets see what shakes out next week. I have a good feeling. I'm going to finish the draft of the report tonight. I feel at a slight disadvantage not having the volunteer survey but what can you do since it was the organization that was limiting with information. That aspect gave me another recommendation point. The good news is the administrator at the other site wants me to do a secondary report and speak to her advisory committee with my findings. Way cool! I still can't believe it's April already and graduation is right around the corner. I want all A's to finish out this semester. I'm thinking of pursuing a second degree that would compliment this one but i'm not sure yet if I'm brave enough to take on the additional financial hurtle. I still have time to debate it.

I didn't buy Easter candy yet so it looks like I'll be hitting the store on Monday for an excessive amount of chocolate! I really think about Aunt Ernese especially this time of year. She always bought an Easter basket for me. I miss her. I better get back to reviewing and writing. Maybe more later.

Tuesday...the Sequel

Yesterday was a good day for me despite waking up with the lingering headache from a migraine. It was so cool that even though I wrote an entry for the blog, I didn't have time to put in everything I wanted to say or comment. So I guess you could say this entry is part two as a continuation to Tuesday's post. It further reinforces my affinity for Tuesday over any other day of the week. I was reading the news online and was shocked to hear that Asia's richest woman, Nina Wang, has passed away. I was fascinated with her rise to wealth after she was revealed on the Forbes list a short time ago. News reports say she had ovarian cancer but it has not been confirmed. It will be very interesting to hear the final story on her passing. What amazed me the most about her, and many other women on the list, is that she had no children. Does this mean that in order to achieve vast wealth one basically should not give birth to offspring? An interesting debate. Also, last week on the evening world news, there was an interesting piece about Vladimir Putin. What made it fascinating to watch was the fact that while he bills his country as one of social democracy, he runs it like a dictatorship and is flying so far under the radar when it comes to U.S. diplomacy. Like North Korea's fearless leader, Putin is also one to watch. I thought about that news story again last night after hearing the latest debate on Capitol Hill over Bush and his veto power. The House Majority leader had a great quote where he said that Bush "is the president of the United States...not the King of the United States." Loved it! So very true. In my opinion, Bush goes way to far with power. He really does not know how to handle it yet he is allowed to lead an entire country! Putin really is a dictator in disguise but the ironic thing is the people of the country love him. And for those who don't...well let's just say they find themselves in jail over trumped up charges. This world and it's many people in power are intriguing.

On a separate note, I felt really empowered when I finally figured out what to do with funds in my rollover IRA account. I took care of that on Tuesday as well. While the world of stocks and mutual funds is still somewhat scary for me...I have learned that the more I read up and ask questions, the less scary investing becomes. Once school is over I can spend a little more time researching stocks so that I can select wisely for my portfolio. I better get going to workout. Will visit post later (I feel like I forgot to include something). Later.

9:39pm...got in from class not to long ago. It was a pretty good lecture. I had to stay a bit afterwards to print out stuff in the computer lab. I felt restless during class. I think I needed to keep moving around to avoid getting stiff from this afternoon's workout. I'm feeling sore now but in a good way. I literally have stuff laying everywhere. I'm going to have to spend about 45 minutes putting everything back where it belongs. I really need to give away some more clothes but it's hard to part with them in the wake of possibly not being able to afford to replace anything should I need it. The goal is to lose enough weight where I would have to replace the clothes anyway. I'm getting there slowly but surely. Rich came into some job postings that are right up my alley. I'll apply tomorrow morning on the website. I have a feeling something good is going to come my way soon. Only time will tell. Anyway...I better get going. I'm a bit sleepy but have some reading and the start of the draft to do. Not really looking forward to tomorrow's doctors appointment. Dr. L stressed I must come back in to repeat a test. It's so freaking painful but once it's done I won't have to repeat it hopefully until next year. Another drs appt on Friday and hopefully that will be it until I have a job with medical and dental insurance. Anywho...work calls. Until Thursday.

The Shrinking Middle Class

O.K. So finally the media has caught up with what I have been telling everyone I know all along...New York is for the rich! A news story today revealed that in order for a family of four to live comfortably in the city it would cost on average about 75K. That figure of course did not include health coverage and other incidentals...the new estimated total would then be 130K! I was born and raised in New York and have always known that the surrounding territories are being taken back by the rich. No longer are "those who have" limiting themselves to Manhattan. In addition to that island, the well to dos are also laying claim to all of the other boroughs particularly in neighborhoods where low and middle class families have views of Manhattan. They like to call it gentrification...I like to call it stealing with full approval of government policies. Don't quote me to the exact percentage however foreclosures are up substantially particularly in Brooklyn. What amazes me about Brooklyn is the fact that just about anywhere you look, housing prices are very high in the borough. The same in true in all of the boroughs. The problem is that you have to be either very rich or very poor to own real estate in NY. Right not I guess you could say I'm in the latter category. I'm not homeless (at least not yet) however, I don't have the resources available to even buy property in my hometown. My group, single, in the 30-40 category, no children..we are the workhorses...every law or provision is for those with children or some other protected category. What is very perplexing to me, especially during election seasons, is the fact that very little is ever said about the single, middle class population. Is it to be assumed that we are supposed to be earning so much that we are o.k. no matter what? That simply isn't true. I remember when I was unemployed five years ago and having to apply for medicaid. I was told that I didn't qualify but if I had kids I could qualify for WIC and Mitchell-Lama Housing. I guess the assumption was that it's just me so the situation was not that desperate. I can assure you that not having medical coverage was a major issue for me at that time. It still is. Needless to say housing is never really a consideration discussed by politicians when it comes to the single middle class community. Family health coverage, the War, tax refunds for homeowners, and foreign policy are what politicians discuss. I wonder what would happen if all of us single, middle class people simply didn't work and became ultra-dependant on emergency room care. What then? Total chaos. Social security would crumble overnight and taxes for everyone would skyrocket. Who knows...maybe that would be a good way to end unnecessary wars. Interesting sidebar. Anyway, getting back to my original point, I have always known that NY is for the rich and the poor. It's unfortunate that when I do get to the level of ownership, it won't be in the city where I was born. How ironic. My heart will always belong to NY but unfortunately, I don't have the dollars to belong here. The good news is...I like to travel so I am sure there is that right fit out there when the time is right.

In other news, i've been very busy with schoolwork as usual. I can't wait for school to be done but at the same time I'm like...I can't believe school is almost done. I just ordered graduation announcements! Can you believe it?!? I might actually pull this thing off and graduate in five weeks. It's been a very challenging road but the journey is so worth it! I am still living on the edge in terms of finances. I have now started living off of my small savings so my right fit great job needs to come up no later than the end of June. I'm working hard to find it. Oh! Before I forget, I accomplished something today at workout. I have succeeded in run/walking a mile in thirteen minutes! I am so happy! Considering that when I first started there six months ago it was taking me just under 23 minutes to walk a mile! What a drastic improvement if I do say so myself. I hope by next year this time I will be jogging a thirteen minute mile. I will do it. So far i've lost two dress sizes and have gained even more confidence in myself. Even though I have my down days, I know that I have more up ones. Out of the three witches actions, progress has been made by me and for that I am thankful.

Lor was asking me if I heard from O'Neil. It's weird that she would ask since somebody else was asking me the same thing two days ago. Like I told her, I don't expect to hear from him since it would actually involve him having to pick up a phone to call me. I'm simply not in his radar for him to even do that and that's o.k. We all have to make choices. I'm choosing to move forward and be around for friends who have time to share. While I will miss the small portion O'Neil shared of himself, Jean has a good point when he says at least I know where I stand with him. I was simply not good enough to be in his circle. What can I say except I am but a simple girl. Just like I was so easily forgettable the first time we met, I am sure I will be easily forgettable the second time around. In fact, i'm sure he has already forgotten about me. The good news is, I'm good enough just the way I am for others. I have found that very similar to my improvement time at the gym, I have also developed an improvement time so to speak with failed friendships and matters of the heart. My recovery time gets shorter with each one. I find that I can analyze and evaluate each situation, take the time to be sad, and then simply move forward. No need to wallow in what should have, could have, would have...I must focus on what is the next adventure to come. Now what use to take me years now takes me a few months, sometimes as short as a few weeks. In the case of O'Neil it was months...maybe because I really felt strongly about him. I thought for sure we would at least be friends. My heart was being optimistic while my head was being pessimistic. This is the one time following my head first (would have) come in handy. Oh well...you live and learn right? It was good to go through the process though. It helped me to reinforce my commitment to myself to never settle in friendships and in the long run love. I better go...still a lot of writing to do. I did see an interesting story on Russian president Vladimir Putin. I'll write my commentary tomorrow.