Ladies Love Cool J.

What a fun Friday! I went to an Oxygen Custom Concert with L.L. Cool J (Todd Smith) performing. Neyo opened for him. I must say he is one heck of a performer! He even had the guys paying attention. Of course all of the screaming women and roses he was tossing out really captivated my attention! I can't believe I was like ten feet away from him. How sick is that??? It felt good to get out and enjoy a mini-concert. I was in the VIP section so it felt good to be able to have coat check and access to food, drinks, and other amenities.

I can't help but think of myself as lucky sometimes. Now that I think back on some of the experiences I've had, I definitely have been having living an interesting life. Meeting celebrities, partying to a point, being. It's somewhat of a dychotomy given the fact that from appearances alone most would peg me as "the quiet, boring, smart girl." I love the fact that the arrogant IT guy at work who never talks to me was there. I'm sure he'll run back to gossip with the rest of management as they speculate how I was able to attend the same types of functions as them even though I'm not in management. The look on his face was classic. You know that look. The one that says, "I'm elite and you are not in my book." The feeling I took from that was sheer excitement and amusement. Validation. It also made me realize that I travel in a wide and good circle and reminds me time and time again not to get caught up in titles like they do.

In the end, my ears were ringing, my feet were numb from standing for two hours, and my throat was sore from screaming "yeah" throughout the concert. On the way home, my night was capped off by running into one of my beautiful wish kids. Corrine lives literally at the end of my block. I remember her wish, a shopping spree in PA. She's in her first year of college and working part time at a local eatery. Beautiful, intelligent young lady. Running into her every so often reminds me that I have touched a life in a positive way. What a good night.

Is Chilvary Really Dead?

In a big city like New York, it seems like there isn't much time for anything. Everyone is rushing to get to the next appointment. Subways are overflowing with people racing to get to work on time. The streets are filled with vendors trying to sell "affordable" items such as watches and brick-a-brak. Everyone is racing to something else. At what point do we all stop racing?

This morning as I was getting off of the overcrowded "F" train, a guy raced past me to get up the staircase. I thought to myself, "what a jerk...didnt' he see a lady (that would be me) was present?!?" Am I being so ultra-traditional that my expectation is that a gentleman defers to a lady in this type of situation? Are we (and by we I mean women) so independant now that we should not expect men to do "simple" things men traditional use to do? Should we (again by we I mean women) always be opening our own doors, splitting the bill on first dates, and dating like men i.e. multiple guys at the same time?

How do men feel about this situation? Most guys I've asked say they see nothing wrong with splitting a bill on the first date. However they also are unable to answer my follow up question which is, "at what point does a man feel emasculated?" If we as women are doing everything for ourselves, including fostering children independent of a man (sperm banks), shouldn't men be happy that we aren't so dependant on them? Many men feel that having a child this way is unnatural, however by saying that are men saying that they are feeling left out...emasculated??? If that's the case, why do so many men encourage women to do for themselves then punish these same women for being too independent? Where is the neutral ground? Is there one?

For me, I guess you can say I am old school with a twist of modern conventionalism. I do believe that men should every once in a while open the car door for their significant other. I do believe that men should walk beside their loved one and not in front of her. And, I do believe that women can be independant while a man can feel masculine. It's all about balance mixed with communication. You also have to take the time to acknowledge the differences, the reasons behind the actions, and the willingness to embrace new ideas while holding on to a few from the past.